Oh! look at her, such a lovely outfit! Really, you like it? I think she is looking so skinny and lanky in it, sorry but not my taste! Do you think she is anorexic? Have you ever noticed how she butters her boss! Hmmm! Maybe it will help her get the long overdue raise! Wow! that piece of exquisite jewelry, am sure she spent a lot of money and bought it purely on credit! OMG! that is such a chic haircut, but nah she is not carrying it well at all! OOOPS! Now let’s be honest, how many times have we made such needless comments! We all do and often time are caught in a situation where we get carried away and blurt out such disparaging words for others.

Well, such is the innocent contentment we get with gossip! We all know that gossiping is bad, but still continue to do so. A few catty and barbed words, and we feel it gives us some vent relief! Often times we indulge in this so called ‘guilty pleasure’ knowing that it could be derogatory and judge mental at the same time.

We as human beings have a natural instinct to be curious about other’s lives. When, where, why, what, how are words that constantly permeate our brain. If the listener is enraptured in the gossip, it obviously gives a boost and two thumbs up to the other party. A social bond gets created at a very different level and ‘BOOM’ there is the start of a new found relationship! Paul Coleman, a clinical psychologist and author of ‘Finding Peace When your Heart Is In Pieces’, explains that ‘people who have friends who are big gossipers eventually realize that the friendship was not as sturdy as they may have believed, and that, their relationship was held together by the false intimacy that comes from gossiping about others’!

We always think that women are the notorious ones who are actively involved in this activity. Have you ever asked a guy, if they gossip, you will hear a loud rabid comment ‘NO, Of Course Not’! They do not consider their locker room banter talks as gossip at all, you know it’s called ‘Healthy Discussion’! Really? But did you know that 55% of men gossip versus 67% of women! Now that was some interesting factual information for me! Then why are women the scapegoats and always become the subject of criticism? Men use the fancy word  ‘Networking’ and mainly discuss politics, businesses, activities and ladders to success, making it effortless for them to get away with it. On the other hand women have all the juicy tidbits and easily fall prey to controversies!

 But have you ever thought how much this form of self-created social bonding can be detrimental to healthy relationships? Innately we may be drawn to talk about others and pass judgements but in turn this critique only impacts us as an individual. Obviously, we become the bad one, deeply tarnish our own reputation and that leaves a huge trail of suspicion for others. Psychoanalyst Virginie Meggle, says ‘ When you recognize the aggression within your self vented gossip, this can lead to a greater self-knowledge and acceptance of your darker side. When we stop feeling like the targeted victim we can invest all that time on self- development instead’!

Have you heard of this quote” The key to good eves dropping and gossiping is to not getting caught”~ Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book 

Let’s face the facts, we all gossip. I DO TOO!!  No one has ever escaped from this form of amusement! However, in future, when there is an urge to gossip, pause, think and rethink, what if I get caught?  Sounds ludicrous, but this is true! Become selfish and imagine what if you are the subject of some zany talk in the other room! Not very pleasing to your ears, right? Attempt to stop it at the source, shift the focus and engage in a meaningful conversation. Don’t become the victim but instead walk away and attempt to become a wholesome person! 

 With all my love- God Bless

 

 

 

  1. PRIYANKA says:
    SEPTEMBER 13, 2017 AT 10:26 AM
    Great going Mona, a very thought provoking article with a very simple but a very deep message. If we all can understand and learn something from this and incorporate it in our lives then we all will be better human beings. Great work. Keep writing……

  2. SVERMA says:
    SEPTEMBER 14, 2017 AT 9:11 PM
    Dear Mona – could not agree more with you! Almost everyone gossips and is in constant denial of the fact that they do. It’s not easy but definitely we can try to incorporate better judgment- please keep writing more though provoking articles!

  3. RITU says:
    SEPTEMBER 16, 2017 AT 8:45 AM
    Love this topic for sure Mona.. as u just said we all gossip and hopefully we should try not be judge-mental with our views and be positive and respectful to each and everyone ..ur writing is truly inspirational.. keep going dear..

  4. VINEETA says:
    SEPTEMBER 26, 2017 AT 1:26 PM
    Hey Monika,
    Hope you are all recovered. I finally was able to read the blog and wish if each one of us was to think like this, our community will be such a wonderful place to be a part of. Then we will have no doubt about our friemdships and there will be no may be’ s.
    My philosophy had always been to encourage people to talk to the person directly vs talking to others. What ever that may be…a complimentary criticism or something that’s on their mind or anything that’s is upsetting them. Not only that we should focus on the positives vs negatives and that would drive our own happiness, contentment and confidence.
    Hope to connect soon.

  5. SUSHMA MALHOTRA says:
    SEPTEMBER 29, 2017 AT 6:32 AM
    Good article Mona
    You are such an amazing writer
    Keep it up!!!
    Life is such an amazing discovery process every day

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